etiquette, pt 4

what's noteworthy here?

1. "priority seating for seniors and disabled" sign
2. no matter how professional you may look otherwise, white backpack straps make you look like a kid again -- a very old kid
3. empty, non-priority seating on the right

what you might not know:

1. strappy here was standing.  who knows what prompted him to sit.
2. the train was pretty empty, so no one was actually being inconvenienced.  still, it bothers me.

bikers over riders

alright, bikers, it's gettin harder and harder for us pedestrian passengers of public transit to take your presence kindly.  you take up at least three bodies' worth of standing room when you don't act stupid.  this is something metro, in their infinite wisdom, has decided to formalize.

seats removed for bikes, strollers and large luggage

that's right.  two rows of seats and a handicapped seat have been removed from a whole lotta trains because there are so many more of you bikers than when gas was only $3.50/gal.  on some trains, it's a full three rows, six seats.  congratulations for makin more of the rest of us tired riders stand in your honor.  half the time, you bikers even rub salt in the wound, taking a seat while leaving your bike to fall over on someone.

someone sitting across the doorway from his bike

but, no, that's enough, is it?  instead of making use of the sanctioned spaces, you gotta crowd the doorways of the trains makin it a serious project for the rest of us to get on or off.  and for your inconsideration, what penance do you pay?  why, yall get off first, to, y'know, make room.

two bikes in the doorway

and if that ain't enough, there's been a serious spike in the number of yall crowdin your way onto an already crowded train and only riding a stop or two.  why you wasting time?  it's hard to find two, even three, consecutive train stations in the county far enough apart that you can't ride faster than it is to wait for the train.

so, enough of my ranting, what's to be done about this?

the best i can come up with is hopin this bike share thing works out and expands dramatically.  maybe if there are bikes everywhere, no one'll feel the need to bring em on the train.  the logistics of this are questionable, but it's one tiny glimmer of hope since it's become clear relying on bikers' general considerate nature is failing.

now, if bike sharing don't work and the legions of bikers continue to have enough bad apples causing me to voice my grief, i might just have to advocate for a bike ban.  no one wants that, do they?

another invisible man

oh, elusive sleep, how i covet thee.

shameless

the elevator door opens to a family that looks a little like the family from the showtime tv show "shameless."  they're not nearly as attractive, of course, because they aren't on tv, but there's a certain resemblance.  it looks like two grandparents and four grandkids, one young adult, two pre-teens and a baby.

"where are we goin'?" the first one out, one of the preteens, asks.

"right here," says the young adult, pointing to the platform.

"oh my god, there is snot coming out of my nose," the first one exclaims, not more than six inches from me.

"yeah?" grandpa asks.  "you should see the drool running down your sister's back," he quips as grandma rolls his wheelchair into place.  the other pre-teen is holding the baby up on her shoulder.

"ewwww," the first one intones.

"that's not drool," the young adult notices as she wipes the dripping substance from the baby's nose.

non-refrigerated yogurt transport

that looks tiring, doesn't it?  sometimes on a crowded train, you don't get the luxury of sitting down though.  you can't read the box labels in this picture because i didn't have my iphone tripod mount with me this day, but it says "yogurt."  turns out him staying on the train for only one stop was good for both his arms and the eventual yogurt recipients getting a non-spoiled product.

brain teasers, pt 5

unbridled patriot or guy whose bags never cross presidential administrations?

art theater manager or maestro salieri reborn, plotting a nemesis' death?

child of chris farley and meat loaf or child of chris farley and michael madsen?

ok, this one's a little different.  it's about the garment, not the person, and there's a ternary (ie, 3-way) choice.

pashmina, sari or toga?

1000 words

as much as we all want to put racial stereotypes behind us, i still occasionally hear people use phrases like "you're so white" with each other.  well, if this guy ever hears it, i think it's meant in a literal, physical sense. that level of physical whiteness is something the guy below is trying to achieve without genetic advantage.

paper clothes, pt 2

remember them folks in paper clothes i wrote about a while back?  well, had a couple of em ask me for directions.  should come as no surprise they were heading to county* to pick up their belongings.  though i knew that before they said anything to me, i didn't wanna be insulting or presumptuous.  after going through the formalities of the directions, the shaved-head latino said, "just finished in jail.  first time.  73 days.  dui."  it's like he had to make this introduction every day for, well, 73 days.  though he was latino, his accent almost sounded more eastern european.  "it's crazy, man.  but, man, i was so drunk.  it's messed up, you know.  it's the system too.  i'm from venice."  for you non-angelenos, that's the venice that gives venice beach it's name, not the venice in italy.  "professional musician.  i play the drums.  where are you from?"  after i answer, he continues, "you ever come to venice, look for the drums. you find me."

he turns to his friend, who looks a bit like a shorter, less intimidating version of nick sobotka from the wire.  "you go to the valley after?"

"i'm supposed to.  sort all that out when i get my phone.  right now, i'm too pissed to even think about it."

"man, you got to have money and brains.  i been in venice thirty years.  i got all kind of money.  but you need brains.  you have money and no brains, you lose everything."  truer words were never said.

i look down the train after we've been riding a bit.  the shaved-head guy is doing chin-ups on the upper hand rail.  seventy three days'll build up some funny habits, won't it?


* -- that would be l.a. county jail for those of you not up on incarceration lingo.

eyelashes and drugs

i often notice the beauty treatments of people who ride the train (see any of my nails posts for instance).  that's probably just because it's where i see the most strangers every day.  if i were a courier and walked into a bunch of different office buildings every day or a ticket-taker for the greek theater, maybe i'd notice the beauty treatments there too.  of course, sometimes beauty treatments just kinda jump out at you.

like these lashes.  they may not be the longest.  they may not be the thickest.  but it wouldn't surprise me if they were the heaviest.  this picture doesn't really do them justice, but tried as i might to get a better picture, i couldn't.

when googling for more profile lash shots to compare to (i thought the shape of the above a bit odd), i came across another bizarre twist of science.  one could argue the entire pharmaceutical industry is built on side-effects.  putting it that way's probably a bit of an insult to the r&d folks, but if any of them deny taking advantage of accidentally discovered side-effects, i simply refer to the most famous neurotoxin in vanity-driven los angeles, botox.  well, i don't want to be advertising, but let's just say there's a glaucoma medication that leads to longer, thicker lashes.  now if only we could be certain about what all the side-effects are, i might get on the drugs-for-beauty campaign.

free swag fashionable?

every once in awhile, a bunch of girls going to fidm (fashion institute of design and merchandising) get on the train together.

as is typical of this demographic, there's always all kinds of talk about, well, things.  this teacher did that and another girl did this and did you see what she was wearing and oh my god how was your date.  amongst all this, i just got one question.  the bags clearly fit the m in fidm, but do they really scream out f-able (remember, f is for fashion)?

big brother is watching

i used to be grateful that this screen was installed here by metro.  it used to post info on the trains' next departure times.  even if there isn't much i can do about when that's gonna be or whether i can still catch the next one, it's still nice to know.  that info is still posted, with one absurd caveat.  when the camera mounted to the side of the screen detects a passer-by, the screen posts images from the camera with text saying "WE ARE WATCHING!"

in other words, just when someone who might need the train information is in a position where they might be able to read it, it's taken away by a reminder from big brother as to just what an asshole he is.

brain teasers, pt 4

sarah silverman's studious niece or lesbian cowboy?

asian businessman or yakuza muscle?

two complete strangers or a collaboration between stevie nicks and korn in the making?

mac fanboy or "revenge of the nerds" starring jon hamm?

coat (as) hanger

most people have coat hangers.  some people do dry cleaning.  but this is the first i've seen of dry cleaning on coat hanger on coat as hanger.

whole lotta hair?

by far the biggest dreadlock holder i ever seen.  i'd give it about a 25% chance hair's not all that stuffed up in there.  perhaps he's a student of the history of the world.

accidental prosyletization victim

yeah, i know, most victims of prosyletization are accidental.  "i was just out gardening when these people kept wanting to give me a magazine" is a common one.  another more train-worthy accidental victimization is the spontaneous preacher (i'll probably have more on that in a future post).

however, the particular victim above (in the handicapped seat) kinda, sorta asked for it.  he originally thought the lady on the right was asking for his seat and she may well have intended to, but his pre-emptive knee-jerk response was to complain about his bum leg.  my sense was people weren't buying his story and the fact that he pulled up his backpack and showed all his medications he's supposedly taking tells me he's done this before and gotten the same reaction.  little did dr feelgood realize he would get an earful of religion.  i didn't hear much, but she did start with telling dr feelgood how the "watchtower" he was reading was full of lies.  she proceeded to read from her own scripture, carefully hand-crafted in black marker.

not content to talk to just one person (prosyletisers never are), another accidental victim (already a victim of some limb-reducing ailment that left him wheelchair-bound) gets caught in the crosshairs below, after some other kind soul gives up his handicapped seat to bring mercy upon dr feelgood.

she seemed less enthusiastic about particular encounter.  maybe sitting takes you further away from god.

initial harp sighting

no comment

i know the title says "no comment," but here's my comment.  i had a totally different motivation for taking this picture, but my favorite part is that i captured a funyun looking like a joint.

weight loss -- not a priority

who would write such a thing over someone else's wonderfully produced advertisement?  maybe it's dana herself.  wouldn't that be a trip?  "no, that is not cool.  i thought i was posing for a scale advertisement and they're trying to say i took some weight-loss bullshit?!  now some girl's gonna have body-image issues because of me."

    "but you look good, girl."

    "oh, thank you."

    "want some tacos?  my treat."

    "ok."

of course, that's not likely to be the case.  much more likely it's one of the two ladies below, especially when the ghostly presence of the ad is hovering over them.

unleashing feminist fists of fury nightly

success

most train vendors tend to get people's sympathy.  walkin the trains is no joke and more than once i've seen someone flash that "this person's worse off than i am, i'll buy something" look across their face before reaching for some money.  though the vendors have a captive audience, they're still limited by what can be carried.  so you see lots of vendors with carts on the train.

the more you can carry, the more you can make in a day.  clearly, it's been true for this vendor, who has also had the foresight of a cooler, which can house hot and cold items, though not at the same time of course.  if you look closely, in his hands is a sony psp*.

that is true success.  this guy does so well, he can flaunt his success and eschew the sympathy customers.  i'm still not happy he's taking up at least two standing-room spaces, but luckily it's not crowded.

* -- at least i think that's what it is.  i don't know my portable consoles very well, so any of you that do can correct me if i'm wrong.

young jedi's teenage years?

we saw this young jedi a few months ago.  completed his training he has not.  like any youngster in training, his hair and clothes have changed a bit.  this new jedi-in-training is embracing dark side aesthetics, it would appear, trading simple blonde tips and a hoodie in for a mohawk and black (p)leather(?).  at least the earrings and neck tats keep it real.