Friday, December 30, 2011

andrea 3000

my initial reaction to the scene below was "where your manners, girl?"  but all it takes is one look in that face and you can see she's a young wanda sykes.  her answer'd just be "i don't give a fuck."

my next reaction was "that is some style she's pullin' off."  she may well have had to go to every thrift store in town to get all the elements of this ensemble, but i'll be damned if she's not rockin it like andre 3000.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

portlandia in l.a.

just put a bird on it and call it art.

uh-oh, portland, you've gone commercial.  this backpack looks neither fair trade nor hand made.

Monday, December 26, 2011

paris, venice on the blue line?

i only know either of the cities in the title from my trips to las vegas, which means i probably know nothing about them.  nonetheless, the following whisked me back to my visits to those casinos.

there are a lot of musical performances on the train.  you get beatboxing, singing and rapping.  those don't need no equipment.  you get some guitar.  those are easily had enough.  you even get a bucket and tambourine on occasion.

in my 12 years of ridin metro though i'd never seen and heard an accordion.  well, here it is.

i'd also never heard anything but urban and folk music out of these live performances.  well, this here dude is playing the sounds of gay pah-REE.  first up was a rendition of frankie's "my way."  after that, the spirit of the season came through with "here comes santa claus."  interestingly enough, he, his wife and kid looked like they may have been from the south of france.  maybe the music infected my vision.

Friday, December 23, 2011


yes, the footlong mohawk spikes do happen in real life.

last time i saw such a do, it was on a teenager at a swap meet who called his mom from the pay phone.  he had to turn his head sideways when she came to pick him and his friends up.  the man pictured above will suffer no such humiliation.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

comedy troupe

this may look like your average evening on the blue line.  however, several elements in the picture (and one that isn't) conspired to make it more memorable than that.  we'll kick things off with the unpictured element.

mini-scene 1: one of them amateur vendors gets on to try to sell christmas lights.  i ain't never seen this particular product on the train, but there they were, vended by santa himself.  he tripped over the handle bars of the bike you see the wheel of and yelled out "fumble!"  after he regained his footing, "that was almost an interception."

mini-scene 2: even though the comedy routine seemed like it was over, santa noticed the bandaged toe.  "damn!!  what'd you do to yo toe!?"
    "i kicked someone."
    "i hope you kicked the shit out of," pause as he noticed the kid with the dreads, "that sumbitch."
    "he was tryin' to sell me christmas lights," to which dreadboy and his two ladies busted out laughing.  they were laughing like hyenas for most of the train ride, so this laugh being their loudest says something.

mini-scene 3: santa steps on the guy's foot.  "dude, that's fucked up," replies toe-man.

mini-scene 4: the hyena on the left of dreadboy says in her best dork voice, "these black people.  they're just so ignorant."  she's only kind of hiding the fact that she's looking straight at the white boy in front of her.  hyena on the right is laughing even harder than she did in mini-scene 2.  hyena left continues, "he probably got his glasses at the end of his nose."  more laughter.  "i wish i had some glasses just so i could put em on the end of my nose."  even more laughter.  i usually try to play it cool, but i was having a hard time stifling laughter at this point.

mini-scene 5: dreadboy does his best michael jackson.  dave chappelle once said,"boy's eight years old.  he don't remember thriller."  i don't think this boy was born when dave made that statement.

Monday, December 19, 2011

young jedi's teenage years?

we saw this young jedi a few months ago.  completed his training he has not.  like any youngster in training, his hair and clothes have changed a bit.  this new jedi-in-training is embracing dark side aesthetics, it would appear, trading simple blonde tips and a hoodie in for a mohawk and black (p)leather(?).  at least the earrings and neck tats keep it real.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

trash porn, pt 8

i don't usually wait until i'm at the bus stop to decide whether or not i need to wear pants.  what a diverse world we live in.

Monday, December 12, 2011


train comes to a stop.  don't start again.  conductor's on the platform talkin on the phone.  not good.

gaggle of fare inspectors and sheriff's deputies amble down the platform.  two lafd ambulances roll by.  they stop at the station entrance.  not getting better.

"i need everybody to get off the train," comes the unhurried announcement a couple minutes later.  three traincar-loads of cummuters follow orders.

the gaggle regathers in a close pack.  a stretcher rolls by.  girl on the stretcher is shielding her eyes from the sun and looking around, not the least bit dazed.  she's up on one elbow.

conductor starts the empty train up.  everyone watches it roll away, still empty.  maybe some kind of haz mat inspection is on tap.

another train rolls up.  i'm pleasantly surprised metro and lafd got me to work only 20 minutes late.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

oops ... the wind blew it away

yall may have heard of some windstorms in l.a. a little while back.  all sorts of trees went down, power went out and rather than take the opportunity to appreciate just how complex and difficult providing electricity is, folks got all indignant about why they couldn't get it back sooner.  "lazy city agencies blah blah blah..."  i'm sure you know the routine.  anyhow, looks like someone not only got in an accident, but had their car part blown off the 105 onto this here bush.

or maybe not.  maybe someone got into the accident on the street and didn't feel like hauling it away.  or maybe the bumper was tied on with bungee cords in the first place and when it flew off the 105, it hit the concrete wall the ivy is growing on, which caused the dent and there was no accident at all.  or maybe god just put it there to test my faith.

Friday, December 2, 2011

pretty flowers

spontaneous art?  no, probably just forgotten.  if the metro cleaning crew didn't get to it first, it was probably still there when whoever forgot it went back to look for it.  that's because train patrons are notoriously respectful of beautification.