Tuesday, February 28, 2012

metro, you...must...learn...

...how to landscape.

when the gold line opened in 2003, these flowering vines were put in the ground at regular intervals at the base of this fence.  though you can't see it in this picture, the vines are planted on the other side of the cinder blocks.  due to the slope of the ground on that side, the soil is only a foot or two below the top of the concrete.

i wasn't at the design meetings and i don't actually know what variety of plant this is, but i'm guessing the idea was that they would eventually grow in on their own, providing beauty and noise-reduction for both passengers and residents.  this particular section of fence is actively tended and has failed pretty miserably in that respect.  that brown stuff on the right has been doing its best to look like the orange stuff on the left and things aren't really working out.

just down the way, where things are left to nature, we get a totally different story.

i know this is hard for some people to get their heads around, but not all plants need active watering.  metro, what do you say?  how bout getting some gardeners who know what they're doing?

by the way, if any of you knows what kind of plants these are and how to care for them, please post something in the comments.

Friday, February 24, 2012

weight loss -- not a priority

who would write such a thing over someone else's wonderfully produced advertisement?  maybe it's dana herself.  wouldn't that be a trip?  "no, that is not cool.  i thought i was posing for a scale advertisement and they're trying to say i took some weight-loss bullshit?!  now some girl's gonna have body-image issues because of me."
    "but you look good, girl."
    "oh, thank you."
    "want some tacos?  my treat."

of course, that's not likely to be the case.  much more likely it's one of the two ladies below, especially when the ghostly presence of the ad is hovering over them.

unleashing feminist fists of fury nightly

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

ghost train

they say ridership is increasing.

and that's probably true.

i can feel the presence of all the spirits of metro riders past.  one of them says, "they say...a compooter can do my job...better than i can damn do it."  i get the feeling this particular spirit looks like any one of these three guys (picture taken from a previous post).

Friday, February 17, 2012

group safety

metro has long had a series of signs that say "see something, say something."  taken literally, this would flood the train with inanity, much like edith massey with john waters.  luckily, all the placards clarify this point.  if you see suspicious activity or a suspicious package, tell metro.  or, put another way, big brother wants ordinary citizens to do the spying because they're too busy sipping lattes.

so, what to do with this guy?

that's a bag of holding (follow link to see specifications).  who knows what could be in there?  there could be a bomb.  or a missile even.  or (gasp!) the lady on the right's missing curlers. and no one would be the wiser.  but, i have to adhere to the safety campaign's rules.  i don't see nothin, so i ain't gon' say nothin.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

brain teasers, pt. 3

phish lover or occupy legal advisor?

on the way to a biker rumble or to get fitted for a poodle skirt?

proud fashion icon or forgetful lunch lady?

mad scientist or the most interesting person in the world's little brother?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

makeshift office

i could be wrong about the scene below, but i do believe the man on the left is trying to recruit the man on the right for a job.  my hearing's not telescopic, so i couldn't make out the conversation, but the papers on the man's lap are sheathed in a folder with "retirement benefits" emblazoned across the front.

if this is indeed a recruiting endeavor, it certainly did not seem like an interview.  recruiter was talking way too much and looked more like he was spreading gospel than paychecks.  nonetheless, nice to know that there are jobs out there.

Friday, February 3, 2012

print journalism

though seemingly dying, the local paper is a great source for what's going on in the world.  though much has moved to the internet, even there most of the real news is dispatched by various local news gathering organizations, some of which still print the national, state and local stories on dead trees.  on top of that, you get the funny pages, entertainment section and a whole host of other groupings which justify the advertisements you have to wade through to get to the content.  but you know what train riders value most in the local paper?


seriously, about five different riders picked up the ads looking for coupons.  i'm not sayin the quality of "hola la" warrants a second look, but just trust me when i say that it's not the only non-ad newspaper section that gets left behind on the train.